It definately has been a while. The little gray lobes in my head seem to be growing over with rust, perhaps not even rust but just a quiet simple slowing down.
I am happy lately.
It feels good. I feel like me and I feel purely joyful.
However, at this moment I feel entirely sleepy, and very heavy. My tooth was pulled a few days ago and my head is reaching to the pillow. These meds are making me dreamlike.
I am feeling also extremely ambitious. Goals and aspirations are simply coming closer and closer every day. I can reach out and touch them, but however they are so far still. I have so many, it seems hard to keep track of them. Like small children, all under 4 years of age. But I love them and hold them so dearly.
Westminster is coming closer and closer. I am working out financial issues and am worried to death. I need this to work. I must have this work. It feels right and this is what I must go for at this time in my life. Have you ever felt that something is so right that you would be stupid to let it slip past? These are my feelings right now. My prayers are constant, my ideas are neverending, the dream is still living. I will make it. Somehow. It will happen.
There are so many things that I want to do, become, achieve.
It only fits to make a list. Perhaps it will organize my thoughts a little.
Here we go.
1)Become a student at Westminster.
2) Reinvent my cello talent. Become a cellist again.
3) To someday be in the Utah Symphony.
4) To be able to make and grow lovely food.
5) To have a family and be a mother.
6) To be married here.
7) To have an old house with a library.
8) To travel.
9) To love.